[ cassandra's quiet, for a long moment. then she brings up her arms to place them over barbara's neck, leaning in for a tight hug. barbara's code isn't like jason's, cassandra knows that. it allows for the possibility of crossing that line, but it's not an idea she ever likes. it's not what she'd push for first thing. it's not something that is ever at serious risk of happening. finally, she speaks, voice wavering slightly. ]

Guess we hold each other back, then. If he shows up. [ and her voice cracks, again. it's not just not killing. for her, the bat--and her life--has always been about not wanting anyone to die. not letting anyone die, if she can help it. so the feeling of wanting anyone dead, no matter who, no matter if she knows it's wrong, no matter if it's not even a plan-- ]

I don't--I hate feeling like this, Barbara, no one deserves... but... [ a shaky breath, and finally she presses her face into barbara's shoulder. her voice comes again, quiet, on the edge of tears. ]

He took her away from me. [ as horrible as what stephanie endured at his hands was, as absolutely furious as she is on her behalf whenever she thinks on it for too long--it's all rolled up with the loss, and she can't help feeling selfish and guilty over that. (and what leslie did is something else entirely, as far as she's concerned.) ]