Barbara Gordon (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bodilesswarrior) wrote2012-09-08 12:48 am
bodilesswarrior) wrote2012-09-08 12:48 am
Entry tags:
Last Voyages App
User Name/Nick: Sage
User DW:shobogan
E-mail: shobogan AT gmail DOT com
Other Characters: Madelyne Pryor Summers |odynia
Character Name: Barbara Gordon
Series: DC Comics
Age: Late thirties
From When?: Right after Identity Crisis, which took place in 2004.
Inmate/Warden: Warden! Barbara strongly believes in the value of second chances, and has for years; her passion for rehabilitation led her to run for congress while she was still Batgirl. Her methods can be manipulative, but her heart's in the right place. She's keenly perceptive and determinedly compassionate. She strives to be understanding, but she won't take any bullshit. She can be either very blunt or very subtle, depending on the situation. Chances are she'll be incredibly involved, but whether her inmate knows it or not is another story.
She has her issues with the Admiral - lack of transparency is only okay when she does it, all right - but she strongly believes in the Barge's purpose, and she'll put the safety and recovery of all Inmates above everything else.
Item: A batarang.
Abilities/Powers: Barbara is a brilliant academic, aided by her photographic memory. At home she maintains an invaluable database, constantly gathering information; being an expert hacker, she also has access to the files of the CIA, FBI, NSA, and Interpol.
She's been studying martial arts since she was a teenager, becoming a black belt in Karate by the age of eighteen and continuing to train throughout her career as a vigilante. When she lost the use of her legs, she mastered Eskrima. She remains adept with batarangs, as well as throwing stars and firearms. Due in part to her use of a manual wheelchair, she has tremendous upper body strength.
She's honed her detective skills for just as long, even though she's never been part of a police force.
Personality: Despite always being more independent from Batman than Robin, and moving on from her Batgirl identity, Barbara is perhaps the one most similar to Bruce. She's analytical, pragmatic, and independent; she can gauge and influence other people far more easily than she can herself; she's compassionate, but can seem callous when she distances herself to remain practical. She doesn't trust easily, or open her heart quickly – and even when she does, it can be hard to see. She strives to be perfect at what she does, and feels guilty when she isn't.
In other ways, she differs dramatically from Batman. His morality is clean and strict; you don't kill, no matter who it is, no matter what the circumstances are. Barbara, however, has been known to attempt just that. It's not something she enjoys, but if it will save lives (or her partner's life), it's a sacrifice she's willing to make. She is, in general, more flexible. She became more comfortable with this side of herself on the Barge.
She's also far more aware of her own flaws, even if she can't always stop herself from making the same mistakes. She knows she can be impatient; she knows she can be blunt; she knows she can push to far, or withdraw too much. She's fully capable of apologising when she realises what she's done, though she's not always very good at it.
Barbara knows very well that you can lose the people you love at any moment. Open affection doesn't always come easily to her, but she tries her best; she wants them to know she cares. (Maybe if the elder Barbara had known, she wouldn't have left. Maybe if Jason had known, he wouldn't have gone on his tragic journey without a word.)
She doesn't let this behaviour affect her in the field, however. She's put people in very dangerous situations for the greater good. Sometimes it eats at her, knowing they're risking their lives and she can't be with them, but she keeps doing it because, in her mind, she has no choice.
Oracle isn't as much a separate persona as a refined one; a being defined by the mission. At first, she escaped into that role so utterly that she distanced herself from her own compassion. She paid the price with Power Girl's trust. Now, more of Barbara informs what Oracle does, just as Oracle dictates so much of Barbara's life.
Sometimes she feels guilty when she isn't Oracle; when she's spending time doing other things. She knows, rationally, that this isn't sensible, but much to her annoyance, she can't always rationalise away her emotions.
When she allows herself to simply be Barbara, that person can be fun, and kind, and intently passionate about things other than her calling. Not many people know all sides of her – the commander, the geek, the vigilante, the dork, the leader, the survivor – but she treasures her time with those who do. Who she can unleash her wry sarcasm and silly puns and obscure knowledge on at any moment, who she can tease and confide in.
She became better with this when she last stayed on the Barge, but backslid back home; there were more people depending on her, people who could and did die permanently.
Barge Reactions: When Barbara was last on the Barge, it became a second home to her. In a way, it's quite a lot like Gotham; deeply flawed, but brimming with potential, chock full of captivating people - people she never could have met, otherwise. It's usually chaotic and frequently painful but she frankly wouldn't know how to live otherwise. Last time, she learned to see floods and breaches as an opportunity, rather than a violation.
She did not learn to truly accept her lack of any real control, and probably never will, but she'll deal with it.
Deal: Pending; she wants to give her deal to her Inmate when they graduate, or someone else if said Inmate doesn't want it.
History: Comics are a mess, and not everything about Barbara's history is clear or consistent. This Barbara Gordon Timeline is a more comprehensive summary of her time as Batgirl through her early days as Oracle, but my preferred reading varies in a few places.
Barbara was born in Ohio, to Thelma and Roger Gordon. Thelma died in a car accident when Barbara was a little girl, which drove her father to alcoholism. Growing up in a world of superheroes, it became a common fantasy for her; she could escape into a world where she could save everyone. Unfortunately, that wasn't her real life; when Barbara was thirteen, her father died of alcohol poisoning. When her uncle Jim took her in, Barbara found herself in a new city with a new family. Even then, she was nothing if not resilient; she adjusted to her new home, and came to love her second parents as much as her first.
One thing she loved most was studying her father's work; she was fascinated by the crimes people committed and how they were caught. One night, when she was snooping in her office, she witnessed a meeting between him and Batman. (Batman even left her a note; Don't get caught – he'll be angry!) That's when Barbara decided he needed a partner. Her refuge as a lonely child had become a passionate goal. She convinced her parents to let her take Karate lessons, memorised the entire layout of Gotham city, pushed herself in school enough to skip two grades, and excelled on the track team like never before.
Soon enough, she was outrunning everyone both physically and academically – and figured she had to tone it down. She pretended to rip a tendon, taking care of track; she achieved average grades, knowing she was already graduating two years early; she started training with a private sensei, rather than a public class. She continued her frequent trips to the library, but disguised her reference books as fiction. She redid her wardrobe, aiming for a conservative, generic appearance.
By the time she earned her Master's, though, it wasn't quite so much of an act; she was focused on finding a career and becoming truly independent. She became head librarian at the Gotham City Public Library. It was a trivial thing, really, that nudged her back on the path she'd strayed from; a policemens' masquerade ball. All she really wanted was to see the look on her father's face. But her Batgirl costume was fully functional, because Barbara Gordon is an over-achiever in literally every aspect of her life. When she ran into Bruce Wayne being menaced by Killer Moth, because of course she did, she couldn't help but intervene. It ignited a passion that she'd almost forgotten - that's when she realised that she really could do this, and that she really wanted to.
She remained Batgirl for years; the identity even travelled the world with her in her term as a Congresswoman. Eventually, however, Barbara began to find her life as Batgirl less fulfilling for various reasons – in the end, she was wearing someone else's symbol, she wasn't even a girl when she started, there was only so much she could achieve as a vigilante – and retired on her own terms. Gotham was in good hands; Batman was still fighting, the first Robin had grown into Nightwing, and the second had become quite the young hero.
She considered going back into politics, or pursuing another degree. She may have donned another costume, or walked in her father's footsteps, despite her reservations about the police force. Both of these choices were taken from her when the Joker showed up at her door and shot her through the stomach. Not because she was Batgirl, but because she was Jim's daughter, and the Joker wanted to use him in making a point to Batman. It had nothing to do with her.
At first, she withdrew entirely from the world, bitter and ashamed. (Why did she ever open that door without looking? Why hadn't she kicked the gun out of his hand the moment she saw it?) She felt so helpless. She had lost so much in her life but she had never, ever been helpless. Not like this. She was desperately frightened of being defenceless, of being inconsequential. The brutal death of Robin by the same man's hand, the child she'd taught and defended, fought with and laughed with, only deepened her misery. (Would he have come to her for help, if she was still whole?)
But she had skills long before becoming Batgirl, and she was tired of being afraid.
Barbara turned to the burgeoning technology of computers, finding freedom and acceptance there, and learned to use it as a tool. She learned Eskrima, the Filipino art of stick-fighting. She used her skills as a researcher and a detective, combining them with her growing aptitude for hacking. She called herself Oracle: a name that was hers alone, no imitation or echo of someone else's. One of her first acts was hacking into the Suicide Squad's base to offer her services, which quickly became fundamental. Amanda Waller intended her to become the team's leader, but they disbanded before that happened, collapsing under too much loss and too many compromises.
Recruiting Black Canary, after a rather disastrous attempt at teamwork with Power Girl, was the next step. Dinah quickly became more than an agent; she showed Barbara how to open her heart again, how to truly trust in someone else. They balance each other, as friends and partners. She also joined the Justice League, and saved the world with them on more than one occasion. She bonded with the third Robin, Tim Drake, despite lingering grief and fear.
Then her life was brutally interrupted once more, this time by the Cataclysm, an earthquake that left her city in ruins. Instead of aiding the city, the government quarantined it and left it to rot. Barbara chose to stay behind, but she wasn't alone; her father led the remnants of the GCPD as the Blue Boys, Helena Bertinelli became the Bat in Bruce's absence, and Oracle recruited local agents to travel where she couldn't, to be her eyes and ears in a city without technology.
One of these agents was only a teenager, a mute girl wandering the streets. Barbara would name her twice: first as Cassandra and then as Batgirl. Together, when Bruce and the rest returned, they worked tirelessly until Gotham was once again a part of the United States, and given the help it needed. But No Man's Land didn't end without intimate casualties. Sarah Essen, Jim Gordon's second wife, was another officer who chose to stay behind to defend Gotham. In her attempt to save a stolen infant, she was shot in the head by the Joker.
Barbara refused to let her death be in vain. She continued to fight for Gotham, for the world, with Cassandra and the rest of the Bats, with Dinah, with every vigilante who needed her. She only gained more knowledge, more experience, more connections, as time went on, becoming more formidable than ever. She even had the opportunity to put the Joker in the Slab, the highest-security prison in the world.
When he broke out, it was a monstrous affair. He infected the entire superhuman prison with a virus that made them act like him. And he performed his break out the moment – just a moment – when Oracle stopped watching him.
She used everything at her disposal to contain the prison break. She pinpointed the Jokerised fugitives and coordinated strikes. She forcibly recruited Harley Quinn to help create a cure.
Eventually, the Joker was caught, the antidote was formulated, and they've begun to round up the last of the infected. But the event left its mark on Barbara, who knew exactly how many casualties there had been. How many people maimed, how many brothers murdered, how many mothers lost. She revealed to Dick that she wondered if they shouldn't simply kill him; when Dick lost control and almost did, a part of her regretted Batman's quick resuscitation.
This was when she first went to the Barge, and her deal was bringing back everyone the Joker killed. It was retroactive, and changed quite a lot; the most significant changes to Barbara specifically are Jason and Sara being alive. She went back to experience the new timeline, confirm that it really worked - and also to kill the Joker with Iris so he couldn't make any new victims. She also finally confesses her romantic feelings to Dinah and officially adopts Cassandra.
It was a happier, fuller life than she had before, and she never stopped being grateful for it. At the same time, she felt a certain isolation; of the people from home, only Dinah knew what her deal was, and only Jason knew that she killed the Joker. There was a different timeline in her head that no one else remembered.
Her second stay was cut short when she was thrown back home, but she continued to use her experience on the Barge to be the best hero, partner and mother that she could. As time went on, though, this became harder and harder; they lost more people, more battles, more hope and trust.
The events of Identity Crisis pushed it right over the edge. Sue Dibny, a beloved part of the superhero community, was murdered. Batman realised that part of the League had been manipulating peoples' memories and even personalities, and that his own mind had been tampered with. Tim Drake's father was the second victim; Oracle tried to get Batman and Robin there in time, but could only listen as he died.
When she comes to the Barge she's basically just desperate for a goddamn break.
Sample Journal Entry: Test Drive
Sample RP: Tearing open old wounds is part of what the Barge does. She knows that, she accepts that; she actively chose to come back to that. All the same, this breach blindsided her, and the moment she came back to herself she locked her door, turned off the lights, and started pummelling her personal punching bag.
It's not that Cassandra was her daughter. That's true in her own universe, and if she ever feels guilty about how that eases the pain, watching her girl fight and laugh and dance chases it away soon enough. No; she's locked herself away in the dark because, by the time she experienced that life, Cass was dead and gone. Just as young, just as shattered, and there was nothing she could do. Not well enough to matter, anyway. Not fast enough to count.
"I hate you." Her voice is rough, barely audible above the pounding of her fists. She's talking to the Admiral; she's talking to her other self, just as helpless; she's talking to a tangle of cold, uncaring universes that never deserved her daughter in the first place. "I hate you." She's not being careful, or professional; the skin on her knuckles is already beginning to split.
She only stops, panting and trembling, when she hears a knock on her door.
Special Notes:
User DW:
shoboganE-mail: shobogan AT gmail DOT com
Other Characters: Madelyne Pryor Summers |
odyniaCharacter Name: Barbara Gordon
Series: DC Comics
Age: Late thirties
From When?: Right after Identity Crisis, which took place in 2004.
Inmate/Warden: Warden! Barbara strongly believes in the value of second chances, and has for years; her passion for rehabilitation led her to run for congress while she was still Batgirl. Her methods can be manipulative, but her heart's in the right place. She's keenly perceptive and determinedly compassionate. She strives to be understanding, but she won't take any bullshit. She can be either very blunt or very subtle, depending on the situation. Chances are she'll be incredibly involved, but whether her inmate knows it or not is another story.
She has her issues with the Admiral - lack of transparency is only okay when she does it, all right - but she strongly believes in the Barge's purpose, and she'll put the safety and recovery of all Inmates above everything else.
Item: A batarang.
Abilities/Powers: Barbara is a brilliant academic, aided by her photographic memory. At home she maintains an invaluable database, constantly gathering information; being an expert hacker, she also has access to the files of the CIA, FBI, NSA, and Interpol.
She's been studying martial arts since she was a teenager, becoming a black belt in Karate by the age of eighteen and continuing to train throughout her career as a vigilante. When she lost the use of her legs, she mastered Eskrima. She remains adept with batarangs, as well as throwing stars and firearms. Due in part to her use of a manual wheelchair, she has tremendous upper body strength.
She's honed her detective skills for just as long, even though she's never been part of a police force.
Personality: Despite always being more independent from Batman than Robin, and moving on from her Batgirl identity, Barbara is perhaps the one most similar to Bruce. She's analytical, pragmatic, and independent; she can gauge and influence other people far more easily than she can herself; she's compassionate, but can seem callous when she distances herself to remain practical. She doesn't trust easily, or open her heart quickly – and even when she does, it can be hard to see. She strives to be perfect at what she does, and feels guilty when she isn't.
In other ways, she differs dramatically from Batman. His morality is clean and strict; you don't kill, no matter who it is, no matter what the circumstances are. Barbara, however, has been known to attempt just that. It's not something she enjoys, but if it will save lives (or her partner's life), it's a sacrifice she's willing to make. She is, in general, more flexible. She became more comfortable with this side of herself on the Barge.
She's also far more aware of her own flaws, even if she can't always stop herself from making the same mistakes. She knows she can be impatient; she knows she can be blunt; she knows she can push to far, or withdraw too much. She's fully capable of apologising when she realises what she's done, though she's not always very good at it.
Barbara knows very well that you can lose the people you love at any moment. Open affection doesn't always come easily to her, but she tries her best; she wants them to know she cares. (Maybe if the elder Barbara had known, she wouldn't have left. Maybe if Jason had known, he wouldn't have gone on his tragic journey without a word.)
She doesn't let this behaviour affect her in the field, however. She's put people in very dangerous situations for the greater good. Sometimes it eats at her, knowing they're risking their lives and she can't be with them, but she keeps doing it because, in her mind, she has no choice.
Oracle isn't as much a separate persona as a refined one; a being defined by the mission. At first, she escaped into that role so utterly that she distanced herself from her own compassion. She paid the price with Power Girl's trust. Now, more of Barbara informs what Oracle does, just as Oracle dictates so much of Barbara's life.
Sometimes she feels guilty when she isn't Oracle; when she's spending time doing other things. She knows, rationally, that this isn't sensible, but much to her annoyance, she can't always rationalise away her emotions.
When she allows herself to simply be Barbara, that person can be fun, and kind, and intently passionate about things other than her calling. Not many people know all sides of her – the commander, the geek, the vigilante, the dork, the leader, the survivor – but she treasures her time with those who do. Who she can unleash her wry sarcasm and silly puns and obscure knowledge on at any moment, who she can tease and confide in.
She became better with this when she last stayed on the Barge, but backslid back home; there were more people depending on her, people who could and did die permanently.
Barge Reactions: When Barbara was last on the Barge, it became a second home to her. In a way, it's quite a lot like Gotham; deeply flawed, but brimming with potential, chock full of captivating people - people she never could have met, otherwise. It's usually chaotic and frequently painful but she frankly wouldn't know how to live otherwise. Last time, she learned to see floods and breaches as an opportunity, rather than a violation.
She did not learn to truly accept her lack of any real control, and probably never will, but she'll deal with it.
Deal: Pending; she wants to give her deal to her Inmate when they graduate, or someone else if said Inmate doesn't want it.
History: Comics are a mess, and not everything about Barbara's history is clear or consistent. This Barbara Gordon Timeline is a more comprehensive summary of her time as Batgirl through her early days as Oracle, but my preferred reading varies in a few places.
Barbara was born in Ohio, to Thelma and Roger Gordon. Thelma died in a car accident when Barbara was a little girl, which drove her father to alcoholism. Growing up in a world of superheroes, it became a common fantasy for her; she could escape into a world where she could save everyone. Unfortunately, that wasn't her real life; when Barbara was thirteen, her father died of alcohol poisoning. When her uncle Jim took her in, Barbara found herself in a new city with a new family. Even then, she was nothing if not resilient; she adjusted to her new home, and came to love her second parents as much as her first.
One thing she loved most was studying her father's work; she was fascinated by the crimes people committed and how they were caught. One night, when she was snooping in her office, she witnessed a meeting between him and Batman. (Batman even left her a note; Don't get caught – he'll be angry!) That's when Barbara decided he needed a partner. Her refuge as a lonely child had become a passionate goal. She convinced her parents to let her take Karate lessons, memorised the entire layout of Gotham city, pushed herself in school enough to skip two grades, and excelled on the track team like never before.
Soon enough, she was outrunning everyone both physically and academically – and figured she had to tone it down. She pretended to rip a tendon, taking care of track; she achieved average grades, knowing she was already graduating two years early; she started training with a private sensei, rather than a public class. She continued her frequent trips to the library, but disguised her reference books as fiction. She redid her wardrobe, aiming for a conservative, generic appearance.
By the time she earned her Master's, though, it wasn't quite so much of an act; she was focused on finding a career and becoming truly independent. She became head librarian at the Gotham City Public Library. It was a trivial thing, really, that nudged her back on the path she'd strayed from; a policemens' masquerade ball. All she really wanted was to see the look on her father's face. But her Batgirl costume was fully functional, because Barbara Gordon is an over-achiever in literally every aspect of her life. When she ran into Bruce Wayne being menaced by Killer Moth, because of course she did, she couldn't help but intervene. It ignited a passion that she'd almost forgotten - that's when she realised that she really could do this, and that she really wanted to.
She remained Batgirl for years; the identity even travelled the world with her in her term as a Congresswoman. Eventually, however, Barbara began to find her life as Batgirl less fulfilling for various reasons – in the end, she was wearing someone else's symbol, she wasn't even a girl when she started, there was only so much she could achieve as a vigilante – and retired on her own terms. Gotham was in good hands; Batman was still fighting, the first Robin had grown into Nightwing, and the second had become quite the young hero.
She considered going back into politics, or pursuing another degree. She may have donned another costume, or walked in her father's footsteps, despite her reservations about the police force. Both of these choices were taken from her when the Joker showed up at her door and shot her through the stomach. Not because she was Batgirl, but because she was Jim's daughter, and the Joker wanted to use him in making a point to Batman. It had nothing to do with her.
At first, she withdrew entirely from the world, bitter and ashamed. (Why did she ever open that door without looking? Why hadn't she kicked the gun out of his hand the moment she saw it?) She felt so helpless. She had lost so much in her life but she had never, ever been helpless. Not like this. She was desperately frightened of being defenceless, of being inconsequential. The brutal death of Robin by the same man's hand, the child she'd taught and defended, fought with and laughed with, only deepened her misery. (Would he have come to her for help, if she was still whole?)
But she had skills long before becoming Batgirl, and she was tired of being afraid.
Barbara turned to the burgeoning technology of computers, finding freedom and acceptance there, and learned to use it as a tool. She learned Eskrima, the Filipino art of stick-fighting. She used her skills as a researcher and a detective, combining them with her growing aptitude for hacking. She called herself Oracle: a name that was hers alone, no imitation or echo of someone else's. One of her first acts was hacking into the Suicide Squad's base to offer her services, which quickly became fundamental. Amanda Waller intended her to become the team's leader, but they disbanded before that happened, collapsing under too much loss and too many compromises.
Recruiting Black Canary, after a rather disastrous attempt at teamwork with Power Girl, was the next step. Dinah quickly became more than an agent; she showed Barbara how to open her heart again, how to truly trust in someone else. They balance each other, as friends and partners. She also joined the Justice League, and saved the world with them on more than one occasion. She bonded with the third Robin, Tim Drake, despite lingering grief and fear.
Then her life was brutally interrupted once more, this time by the Cataclysm, an earthquake that left her city in ruins. Instead of aiding the city, the government quarantined it and left it to rot. Barbara chose to stay behind, but she wasn't alone; her father led the remnants of the GCPD as the Blue Boys, Helena Bertinelli became the Bat in Bruce's absence, and Oracle recruited local agents to travel where she couldn't, to be her eyes and ears in a city without technology.
One of these agents was only a teenager, a mute girl wandering the streets. Barbara would name her twice: first as Cassandra and then as Batgirl. Together, when Bruce and the rest returned, they worked tirelessly until Gotham was once again a part of the United States, and given the help it needed. But No Man's Land didn't end without intimate casualties. Sarah Essen, Jim Gordon's second wife, was another officer who chose to stay behind to defend Gotham. In her attempt to save a stolen infant, she was shot in the head by the Joker.
Barbara refused to let her death be in vain. She continued to fight for Gotham, for the world, with Cassandra and the rest of the Bats, with Dinah, with every vigilante who needed her. She only gained more knowledge, more experience, more connections, as time went on, becoming more formidable than ever. She even had the opportunity to put the Joker in the Slab, the highest-security prison in the world.
When he broke out, it was a monstrous affair. He infected the entire superhuman prison with a virus that made them act like him. And he performed his break out the moment – just a moment – when Oracle stopped watching him.
She used everything at her disposal to contain the prison break. She pinpointed the Jokerised fugitives and coordinated strikes. She forcibly recruited Harley Quinn to help create a cure.
Eventually, the Joker was caught, the antidote was formulated, and they've begun to round up the last of the infected. But the event left its mark on Barbara, who knew exactly how many casualties there had been. How many people maimed, how many brothers murdered, how many mothers lost. She revealed to Dick that she wondered if they shouldn't simply kill him; when Dick lost control and almost did, a part of her regretted Batman's quick resuscitation.
This was when she first went to the Barge, and her deal was bringing back everyone the Joker killed. It was retroactive, and changed quite a lot; the most significant changes to Barbara specifically are Jason and Sara being alive. She went back to experience the new timeline, confirm that it really worked - and also to kill the Joker with Iris so he couldn't make any new victims. She also finally confesses her romantic feelings to Dinah and officially adopts Cassandra.
It was a happier, fuller life than she had before, and she never stopped being grateful for it. At the same time, she felt a certain isolation; of the people from home, only Dinah knew what her deal was, and only Jason knew that she killed the Joker. There was a different timeline in her head that no one else remembered.
Her second stay was cut short when she was thrown back home, but she continued to use her experience on the Barge to be the best hero, partner and mother that she could. As time went on, though, this became harder and harder; they lost more people, more battles, more hope and trust.
The events of Identity Crisis pushed it right over the edge. Sue Dibny, a beloved part of the superhero community, was murdered. Batman realised that part of the League had been manipulating peoples' memories and even personalities, and that his own mind had been tampered with. Tim Drake's father was the second victim; Oracle tried to get Batman and Robin there in time, but could only listen as he died.
When she comes to the Barge she's basically just desperate for a goddamn break.
Sample Journal Entry: Test Drive
Sample RP: Tearing open old wounds is part of what the Barge does. She knows that, she accepts that; she actively chose to come back to that. All the same, this breach blindsided her, and the moment she came back to herself she locked her door, turned off the lights, and started pummelling her personal punching bag.
It's not that Cassandra was her daughter. That's true in her own universe, and if she ever feels guilty about how that eases the pain, watching her girl fight and laugh and dance chases it away soon enough. No; she's locked herself away in the dark because, by the time she experienced that life, Cass was dead and gone. Just as young, just as shattered, and there was nothing she could do. Not well enough to matter, anyway. Not fast enough to count.
"I hate you." Her voice is rough, barely audible above the pounding of her fists. She's talking to the Admiral; she's talking to her other self, just as helpless; she's talking to a tangle of cold, uncaring universes that never deserved her daughter in the first place. "I hate you." She's not being careful, or professional; the skin on her knuckles is already beginning to split.
She only stops, panting and trembling, when she hears a knock on her door.
Special Notes: