12 - Video

[bodilesswarrior]

[Barbara looks exhausted, but if anything, the light in her eyes is fiercer than ever. She was thrown some curve balls, sure, but nothing that could crush her.

She's becoming inured to trauma, she thinks. She's not sure how to feel about that.

Her voice is a bit dull when she speaks, thick with deep weariness and deeper aches, but it's steady.]

If you know me at all, please check in.

[The worst part, really, was what she couldn't see. She hadn't contacted anybody, save her hijack of Iris' call, and it ate at her, what the people she loved might be facing.

She needs to know they're all right.]

Comments

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[theantiaya]

Yes. I remember.

[Past tense. Implying she no longer cared.]

Should your concern not be equally directed to asking the right questions?

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[bodilesswarrior]

Memories are powerful thing.

[She shakes her head.]

That is the most important question, when you have time to ask it. [She's put such concerns on the backburner before, and she'll do it again if she has to - but she doesn't, not right now.]

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[theantiaya]

No. It is not.

The current conditions of survivors will, for some time to come, remain relatively unchanged. To inquire about such personal matters is to ignore the greater underlying question: we were obviously forewarned, albeit indirectly, a great deal about this particular Port. Which meant that it was planned. But why? And by whom?

[Past experience gave her little faith in the Admiral's ability to control such things.]

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[bodilesswarrior]

And we can pool our experiences and resources when we know who's still here. When everyone has sufficiently recovered.

[Her mind has already spun several theories, of course, but that's all they are.]

Better to do it with clear heads.

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[theantiaya]

Were you to shut down your emotions as I have, your mind would already be clear. You would be able to properly focus on the task at hand.

[Though there is an odd hollowness to her words. As if they were echoes of something she had heard before.]

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[bodilesswarrior]

I've tried that. It works for a while, but you distance yourself too much from what you're trying to do.

Emotions give you perspective. Give you strength. They're only a weakness if you let them be.

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[theantiaya]

Then you were not successful in your attempt.

[Though the fact that she did attempt is noteworthy. It means that, at some point in her existence, Barbara had agreed with her. To take the same actions as she.]

If you are distancing yourself from the task at hand, then it is a subconscious emotional reaction to what you cannot handle emotionally. Therefore, you are still being influenced.

Emotions are not a strength. Anyone who claims otherwise is only fooling herself.