14 - Text

[bodilesswarrior]

[Her first thought, when she wakes up, is that she feels like one of her old dolls; torn to hell and stitched up by small, awkward fingers.

Then she remembers to breathe, sucking down air in ragged, painful breathes. She counts the cracks on the ceiling, and tries not to lose herself.

She remembers, of course. She remembers it as clearly as the Joker's smile. It's not so different, really; again, she was brutalised to hurt someone else.

Except this time it's worse, because she saw the Emperor crumple and fall.

She refuses to close her eyes, because she knows what she'll find in the darkness. She focuses on the warmth of the sheets, the glare of the lights, the beating of her heart.

When she's able to lift an arm with convulsions of pain, she grabs her comm.]

Check in if you can.

[Private to Iris]

Are you okay?

[Private to the Emperor]

I'm sorry.

[Private to Creed]

You owe me glasses.

Comments

[Private]

[bodilesswarrior]

Hey, Felix. He didn't get you, did he?

[Private]

[itstopped]

No. I was in the lab with Iris's virus. I thought [He starts to write it, goes back and erases it.] had hoped to get it out before he could hurt anyone.

[Private]

[bodilesswarrior]

I worked on it, too. It's - we did our best. Can't fault us for that. [Not that it makes her feel better - her best should have been better - but she does know it's true, intellectually.]

[Private]

[itstopped]

Still. [Because no, it's not good enough, not at all.]

How are you feeling?

[Private]

[bodilesswarrior]

Yeah.

I feel like crap, but it'll pass. How's Dean?

[Private]

[itstopped]

He's fine. We're all fine.

[It'll pass, he echoes somewhat grimly in his mind, with that odd mixture of gratitude -- for his friend, for her continued health, for her continued presence in his life -- and revulsion. This time, he manages to push the latter aside. What had Ned and Racetrack called it? The reset button.] Do you want company?

[Private]

[bodilesswarrior]

I wouldn't mind the distraction. [It's odd; she doesn't worry that Felix will see her vulnerability as weakness.] Cassel gave me some books but I'm not quite up to reading yet.

[Private] -> [Spam]

[itstopped]

[That's not the language he speaks, of course. Even if it was... he doesn't care if she's weak, as long as she's still herself. As long as nothing else has changed. He smiles wanly.] I'll see what I can do, then.

[He has to push his feelings aside again when he gets up there, but then again, he's usually good at that when he's not too angry to bother. That's about 50% of what his work in the engine room is really all about, anyway, distracting himself away from feelings. He steels himself, comes to sit by her bed, picking up one of the books offhandedly.]

Anything good?

[Private] -> [Spam]

[bodilesswarrior]

[Barbara, meanwhile, keeps her concerned tightly reigned, and simply smiles when she sees him.

She types her response, before flipping it round to show him.]

Historical fantasy.