bodilesswarrior | 17- Video

17- Video

[Her hands are clasped in front of her, lips a thin line. She looks more irritated than traumatised.

She can still feel the press of a mask, if she tries.]

Well, that was fun. [Her voice is dry and flat.]

Status, everyone?

[Private to people who went through the door]

What did you see? What do you remember?

[Private to the Emperor]

[A wry smile curves her lips.]

Guess the breach was prophetic.

[Private to Bond]

[It's a different sort of smile, this time, slight and sharp.]

I would have beaten you eventually.

[Not she; it would be easier, to think that way, but not particularly honest.]

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Do you remember it all? [ It's a curiosity - she wasn't changed, and she hasn't been here long enough to know enough or what to expect. But how like other 'changes' was this? ] Everything from the other side, more than just the last few days? [ During the port where they'd had a 'pet' Helena had remembered it all - her entire life, a life more than just the few days that they'd been off the barge. Did that always happen when people were different? ]

The last few days are clearest, but there's...an echo, I suppose. If I try, I - [know what it feels like to scratch at a coffin lid] can recall certain things.

It fades, usually. [Never entirely, though.] Might work differently, this time.

The last memories I was given- it was similar then. [ The memories of the last breach, the one of England. It had been the first time that it had happened to her, but she still remembered it - slightly ] I remember having them, having a feeling as to what they were, of what my life was, although the detail is gone. [ Would it still be gone if she tried to think on it? Helena never did - not wanting to remember how she had felt ]

Edited 2013-11-03 16:38 (UTC)

[A slight nod.] That's how it usually goes. [Her lips quirk.] I've been a knight, a sailor, a scientist...

I was a scholar. [ Which wasn't entirely too far of a stretch from her abilities. Except she was happy - blissfully, and emerged happily in that life. That was the stretch. That was what she tries not to think of ]

How many lives have you had?

[Scientist wasn't a stretch, either - except she'd been married.]

Seven, if you count the last time I was evil.

Has this been with every flood or breach, or have you managed to miss some?

Hit every one. Lucky me. [And a part of her is sincere; they're experience she never would have been able to have otherwise, perspective she'd never have truly understood.]

Lucky you. [ Except there is no part of her that's sincere about it. It's unlucky, and a little awful ] Maybe you'll run out of possibilities.

[A faint, wry smirk.] I'll never do that.

It would be a shame if you did, although it could give you some peace.

I'd get bored.

You'd think that enough would already be happening to negate that.

It's all about how you engage.

And what do you do to keep yourself engaged? [ Because, whilst Helena has one or two things that she does she hasn't wanted to feel engaged. To feel a part of this place ]

[She's silent, for a moment. Then, quietly - ] I stay connected.

It's all about the people, especially here. You can't let yourself pull away from them, even if it's easier.

[ Easier. Preferable. That's what she'd planned when she'd been de-bronzed, to get involved but not to be connected. Except then that had failed, and with the friend or two that she'd already made on the barge it wasn't working to plan either.

Although if she tried she could be exceptionally good at ruining things ]

What if it's better? [ For them, she'd think. To stop them getting caught in her madness, or worse ]

They should get to decide that for themselves. [It's a hard-learned lesson, born of loving stubborn people.]

There isn't often a decision left to make.

[ There has been at times, but Helena's more often used to someone being pushed away, or finding them dead (and for those options she thankfully hasn't been close to too many) ]

I'm not certain I'd want to know what they thought.

It's not always easy to hear. But it can make you a stronger person.

Edited 2013-11-19 21:28 (UTC)

Then I'll be glad that I don't need anyone to reinforce myself.

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17- Video

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