[ She's quiet, for a moment, both grateful and reluctant.
Finally, quietly - ] I never really stopped feeling guilty about it. I made a promise, to the ones who ended up here for a while. That I'd find a way to destroy that place without sacrificing them.
But she still thought you were cold, because of who you've needed to be and the decisions you've had to make. [ That's even less fair! But also not unsurprising. ]
...Honestly, I'm - objectively speaking, I'm glad you realised that wasn't true. [ But it still makes her a little sad. ]
Yeah, I can see how that would contribute. Context is important. [ She can't help but grimace as she imagines certain events being the only glimpses of her life, either here or back home. ]
...Even if we don't think about something, it can still - sit there, in the back of our minds. Festering.
I'm not saying it is, necessarily, but - it's something to look out for.
She had a kid sister she took care of because their parents sucked. Only when she started getting into trouble and became a druggie and got arrested and sent down to the train...
[Said kid sister was left behind, alone and abandoned once again.]
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bodilesswarrior) wrote2023-08-15 05:50 am
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[But there isn't disappointment in her tone, either.]
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But I like that we're different. I like that you've decided who you want to be.
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[But it's comforting, hearing Barbara say it first.]
Thanks. I don't get insecure as much as I used to, but--
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[ She'd been far more at peace with herself before being back home for a few years. ]
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...Have I ever told you about my mirror self? [ She doesn't think so. The original Mirror Barge has always been difficult to talk about. ]
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Finally, quietly - ] I never really stopped feeling guilty about it. I made a promise, to the ones who ended up here for a while. That I'd find a way to destroy that place without sacrificing them.
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They had to know you couldn't keep that promise for sure. You could promise to try, but--
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[ She stops, swallowing hard. It had been so long, that helpless grief and fury muted and tucked away, and then... ]
I'd forgotten that sometimes it doesn't matter how hard we try. How much we care.
[ Tired and bitter, but she does inject some reassurance in there. ]
Your other self never quite learned that, I think. My other self forgot everything else.
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[Tiffany had spent too long being small and insignificant to have ever really believed that her trying and caring could overcome any obstacle.]
She believed it about other people, though. If she loved someone enough, she thought they were magic.
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...Honestly, I'm - objectively speaking, I'm glad you realised that wasn't true. [ But it still makes her a little sad. ]
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-- Anyway. I don't think about it too much anymore.
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...Even if we don't think about something, it can still - sit there, in the back of our minds. Festering.
I'm not saying it is, necessarily, but - it's something to look out for.
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[She knows she's right, too. Shit.]
Well, you know me; I like talking. The problem's the stuff I don't like talking about.
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Well, if you want someone to push you...
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Breaches don't usually bug me much, and this one didn't either, mostly. But-- there was one thing.
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Tell me?
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[Said kid sister was left behind, alone and abandoned once again.]
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Oh, Tiffany.
She waits a moment, because she knows what she's about to say is going to hurt. Her voice is soft. ]
You'd stopped thinking about her.
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Until she got down to the train and realized it was too late.
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