bodilesswarrior | TLV 3

TLV 3 - Video

[Barbara's smile is a bit tight. She's trying not to think very hard on the last few days. The renewed grief of losing her first dad. Running and flipping and dancing.]

Everyone come through that flood okay?

[Private to Agent K]

[Her lips are curved in a wry, fond little smile.]

I've been called a lot of things, but 'sweet' usually isn't one of them.

[Private to Stephanie Brown]

It's official, I'd have liked you at any point in my life. [Yes, that is a thank you.]

[Private to Tim Drake]

I...wanted to thank you. For looking out for me.

[Both the warmth and hesitation fade as Oracle takes precedence.]

And I have a question.

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[Barbara waits, concern clear on her face; this isn't business any more, this is her and Tim and she's just worried about her friend.

She could say that Bruce still doesn't know him, but she doesn't; she simply nods.]

You - you were a big difference, for him. [A soft, strained smile.] You know, I don't think I ever really thanked you for that? I know it hasn't been easy, all the time. [And from what she's heard it just gets more difficult, more complicated.]

I think this Bruce - he made his decision before he ever met you.

Don't thank me. [He tries to smile, play it off, but he lowers his head and hunches his shoulders, staring at his lap for a little too long to play off as bashful. And he can't say anything else - he can't point out that their Bruce had made a decision, too, and Tim had changed it. He can't tell her that it doesn't matter what she or Dick said, it was his - no, this other Tim's - his - fault for not being there.]

[Barbara has a theory. That's all it is, really. But her voice is low and assured as she speaks]

Tim. Do you really think, if Bruce was going around killing people, that his Nightwing would have let Tim anywhere near him?

[And as reassuring as her voice is, his goes hard; it isn't difficult to hear the accusation in it.]

He should have gotten there sooner, then.

[Her smile is sad. She can't fault him for this; he's doing the same thing Bruce does, the same thing she does - expecting more than the best from himself, from any Tim Drake; not accepting any less than the impossible and kicking himself for failing it.]

You don't know that it would have made a difference. If he killed the Joker as soon as he could have...

[Barbara raises a hand, pinching the bridge of her nose. She knows there's an element of envy in her voice, of yearning.]

I don't always agree with Bruce. I don't always think... [Her hand falls, and she shakes her head.] But it shouldn't be him. If he started down that path - obviously, none of us stopped him. I wasn't even -
[She cuts herself off. Doesn't matter.]

[It's hard to hear what she's saying, let alone what she's not saying. Tim shakes his head sharply.] I should have gotten there. 'I,' not 'he.']

It doesn't matter when it was. Even if it was just Joker, I could have stopped him.

[Her voice goes low, soft.] Telling ourselves what we could have done - it's not a good road, Tim. [she could have checked she could have kicked she could have] Especially when we're not working with all the facts - and especially if we're talking about a life you never led.

For all we know, this Tim Drake never saw the Flying Graysons.

Then someone else should have stopped him! [Someone else is what he says, but he still means me, I. He can't see this logically; he can't see this without the bias of his future breathing down his neck.]

How could they have let this happen?

...I don't know. [Barbara pushes a hand through her hair, looking as tired as she sounds.

She doesn't speak, for a moment, weighing her words carefully. When she does, it's quiet, grim.]

I can understand...the temptation. [That's why she considers that option so fleetingly, so direly; she doesn't want to make it normal, make it easy. Sometimes she thinks it wouldn't take that long, and it's a little horrifying.] And maybe - maybe if I drove everyone away, I'd give in to it.

[Her voice is almost a whisper, now.] If I convinced myself it would mean no more Jasons. No more Sarahs.

[Panic spasms through him. How close did he come to killing Boomerang? All he had to do was make one good choice, just one, been a little less predictable, and he would have been safe. He could have killed Harkness. And worse, it would have been easy.

But he didn't. Dick - back home, Dick had praised him for it. But Bruce had seen it in him. He'd seen the truth. He knew that Tim had set the whole scenario up, had calculated hundreds of different paths Digger could have taken to get himself out of trouble. But he'd known - and Bruce knew he did - that Digger could only take one path.

I couldn't go through with it...I couldn't let someone else kill him.

Tim can't look at her, finds some spot on the wall across from him to stare at. He'd saved Digger in the end. Saved him. But Bruce always saw right to the quick of things. You saved him tonight, Tim...but what about tomorrow?

He looks like he's going to be sick, when he glances at her again, and he can't say anything. Because he understands, and a part of him, a big part, wants to go home and wrap his fingers around Digger Harkness' throat and squeeze until he's dead again. And how big a step is it from there, to the Batman who carries a gun and has made Gotham safe through murder?

Tim doesn't say anything. He just kills the feed.]

[Barbara sits and stares at the blank screen for a bit too long.

A part of her aches to find Tim and wrap him in her arms, but that's now how either of them works. Even if she just talked to him - right now, she thinks it would just be prodding an open wound.

She wishes she knew what had caused it. What had made him so sick and scared.

But if he ever tells her, it will be in his own time. Until then - she'll just do what she can.]

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TLV 3 - Video

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