TLV 5 - Video

[bodilesswarrior]

[Barbara is twirling a pen round her fingers with careless dexterity as she leans back in her wheelchair, gaze distant.]

I was going to talk about being a Warden and the responsibilities it entails and the sort of things we need to commit to when we agree to come on board this ship.

[She shakes her head, as the pen spins faster.]

But the truth is I'm not sure if I even have a right to be here. I barely address my own issues, half the time. I know they're there, of course, but there's always something more important.

And when it comes to other people... [A low, bitter laugh.] I ended my engagement over the phone. Didn't even tell him why.

I've used the people I love most. I've manipulated them. I've made them face near certain death, horrific trauma, brutal violence. All because of the mission. The greater good.

[The pen snaps, and she lets the pieces fall.]

Sometimes I think I'm a better vigilante than I am a person, and that's not what the Barge needs.

Comments

Private

[bodilesswarrior]

That's why you're here. You can learn to be the sort of man who can be trusted.

Private

[theonlyresponse]

You keep saying that. I don't know how.

Private

[bodilesswarrior]

Most people don't, not at first. They figure it out as they go. It's a process, Bruce, not a puzzle.

Private

[theonlyresponse]

I don't think like that. Do you think it would help if I did?

Private

[bodilesswarrior]

I do, yeah. Don't expect to work it out all at once, you'll just get frustrated.

[Her arms fold across her lap, brushing the plastic aside.] I got so sick of not being...better. Before I got shot - I had a problem, I worked it out, I fixed it. Simple.

But there was no way to just solve the nightmares, or the paranoia, or the anxiety, or the shame or despair or any of it.

That was a process. I had to learn how to handle that. You can, too.

-> action whoops

[theonlyresponse]

[It's hard to hold the reply in but he does; he nearly sprints all the way to Barbara's room and knocks on the door.] It's me. Please let me in. I think I should say this to you in person.

action oh dear

[bodilesswarrior]

[Well that's unexpected. And yet not, because Bruce. She opens the door as soon as she can, looking up at him quizzically.]

sobbing

[theonlyresponse]

[He doesn't really even bother closing the door behind him - he just kneels down and hugs her tightly.] I love you. I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you through it. I'm a wreck of a vigilante and a terrible father. Sometimes I don't even think I can be a person anymore. But let me try. Please help me try. I think you're the only one who can.

insert dedcat here

[bodilesswarrior]

[Her eyes go wide, and she doesn't react at all for a second. Then her arms circle his shoulders, warm and strong.]

Oh, Bruce, it's all right. I pushed everyone away. Just like you did. But I was lucky - there were people who found me, who brought me back.

[She holds him closer.] I can help bring you back, Bruce. I will, I promise. I love you too.

legit

[theonlyresponse]

I wish I'd been that lucky. I think if Dick and Alfred hadn't left me I wouldn't have ended up like this. I don't know if I'm angry at them for leaving or if I'm angry at myself for causing it. [His voice cracks.] It makes me sick when I think about that day. I know Clark and Diana shouldn't have judged me for acting out of grief, but they did, and it hurt. It pushed me over the edge. They saw me a monster. I thought I was a monster already, why not go all the way?

[Pulls away enough to look at her.] I don't think I can do this, even if I want to try.